I am known for my feminist stance. It seems certain Facebook friends tag me whenever they want me to defend womankind over something (considered indefensible) or the other. Recently however, after having a conversation with a man who refers to his viewpoint as “traditional” I realized though a lot of what I say seems to defend women, it ought to be pretty clear that I speak for the liberation of men too.
The man I speak of feels strongly about certain things. A man is the head and should lead, he should be taller than his wife, a man must make the first move but of course the woman should give him the “green light”, a woman should not make more than her man, and if she does, if she is more educated, or otherwise achieved, she should hide it. Men need to be in control you see. This man is a relative. He boasts of my achievements when in public but will be quick to tell me, not to make the mistake of doing something like buying a plot of land (as though I could afford it lol!), living expensively etc. because I may scare of potential suitors. He means well, really, he does.
Thinking on all of this, I’ve begun to pity guys almost as much as I sympathize with my fellow women. I mean, such stereotypical beliefs of men is akin to being racially profiled. How does one simply believe all men’s self-esteem is so low they would all need coddling? I realize while this is inconvenient to us women; this restriction on what we can do so as to cater to male egos. It must be equally restrictive to men. They are expected to be the head, the smarter one etc. and they are never really free to be them. With this culture they are easily threatened.
How else would you explain men being uncomfortable with a woman who speaks her mind (even if they agree) or a woman who is comfortable talking about and expressing her sexuality? In a logical world, a woman who is smarter, driven, capable of buying her own property would be the most eligible. She would be the one everyone wants because obviously she will be contributing to the relationship, you could better each other. In a logical world, a woman who can say exactly what she feels for you, what she wants in bed, and what she doesn’t would be the one you go for, after all we’ve hearing complaints of women being “complicated so long you would think the straightforward ones would be appreciated. But in patriarchy there is absence of logic. And still the illogical do not recognize their being suppressed by their own beliefs.
Some people think feminism is for women? Since those people need it clearly written on the walls: Here I stand, a feminist asking for men to be given a chance to be shorter, less smart, not always the one picking up the bill. A chance to be themselves. Lets help men be comfortable loving women who are strong rather than bask in the default power you get from being in a relationship with a weaker person. Call it men’s empowerment.