I didn’t think I would be sharing a testimony today. I’ve not been in the best mood/state in the past weeks. Some persistent needs/insecurities…
Some “thorns in my flesh” To borrow Paul’s words have persisted for at least 10 years; although I have prayed as fervently as I could, although I have fasted and cried as hard as I could nothing changed much. God seems to be giving everything but that. Addressing everything but that. So I was once again fasting this week, seeking God’s face on the issue.
Praying over the same things for a long time is disheartening. You know when you see Hof come through your faith soars and you have the audacity to ask for more. But given that this thing I’ve been praying for has not been answered my faith was waning. It got to a point that I was unable to pray…
But here I am giving testimony, because upon reflection today, after discussing with a sister Melissa J earlier today I realized I’m focusing so much on the fact that there are still these needs, so much that I’m not appreciating enough the miracle of still standing.
So this is what I want to testify to: sometimes the miracle is in the fact that the oil just didn’t finish, it must not necessarily be that the container will brim with oil. I’m thinking of the story of Prophet Elijah and the Widow at Zarephath (beginning at 1 Kings 17:7).
The miracle is in that you are not consumed, not that the fire no longer burns. The fire can still be burning but you are not consumed.
I entered this year with my faith bank low like the widow who used her last drop of oil but from March 2022 through Praying Brides’- a women’s ministry I am a part of, one sister after the other has blessed me. One of the things I prayed for was for God to settle me, it was imperative to have a place to call home be rooted somewhere, to have a community and a church. I have a place of my own I am trying to make home again. I have a church to worship at and I’m trying to build a community in a new city, learning a new language…
In the year when I had so little faith, it in this year that I got baptized. I’ve now taken up residence there is a miracle in still being useful, still being blessed and a blessing while not being okay while being in need. It is that miracle to which I testify.
So if you were like me, waiting for the “end of the trial” but the problem has been lasting much longer than expected. I’m here to say we need not wait to the end, just as we pray in advance, we can testify in the process. To testify to how he has been moving even if it is not in ways you expect. He’s moving.
