I know what it means sister,
Know what it means to seek hope like children seek fireflies on too-warm evenings
I know what it means sister,
Know what it means when you finally catch one… and the light flickers. Off
I know what it means sister,
Know what it means to question and scold yourself for ingratitude
For surely you must be ungrateful.
Surely you haven’t appreciated enough if you feel this way
I know what it means sister,
Know what it means to be told to pray the darkness away.
Know that on some days it works, and others it doesn’t
I know.
I know what most don’t
That praying over it means thinking about it
And thinking leads to overthinking. Overfeeling
And possibly drowning in what you’d rather escape.
I know how hard it is to tell, sister
How hard it is to explain what you, yourself, can barely understand.
How to describe the feeling you fight when some days it’s easy to beat…
And at other times it needs weeks…
I know sister, I know
So don’t feel you’re not holy enough,
Never feel you’re not faith-full enough
“Enough” faith is for the martyrs… but we’re all just learners here
Be consoled in that someone knows sister
That someone understands you setting up a vision board with reasons to live
That someone understands that even the scripture, that double-edged sword.
Finds it hard to cut through the cloak that is depression.
Seek all the help you can, sister.
And if you need me, I’m here.
I do not know it all,
But this much I do.
