Mid-year Reflections: A look back and A look forward…

Dear Readers,

You’re cordially invited to do some mid-year reflection with me.

This month in 2021, I was battling with suicide ideation.

This same month last year, I signed a covenant with God concerning my life, vowing never to express/act on my desire to take my life again.

There’s been a lot of work between those years: therapy, vulnerability, medication, support from friends and growth. I don’t take it for granted that I have access to these things, yet I don’t want to give the impression that things are now ‘completely fine’. I still struggle mentally; just this past week, getting out of bed was somewhat of a struggle because hormones will hormones. Besides, as I’ve expressed in previous blogs- mental health struggles are often struggles you’ll have to overcome by walking through, not skipping over. It might never be erased completely, but hopefully, we will get to where we can deal with the ish with healthy coping mechanisms daily.

That brings me to the reason for this post. I’m honouring the significance of this day in previous years by reflecting on how far I’ve come. Even though I still have regular lows, I must acknowledge that I have come from the person who saw nothing to live for in 2021 to the person who surrendered decision-making power on whether/when/how they live or die to God in 2023 and to this person who now has an updated bucket list of experiences they want to live out and an elaborate list of aspirations they are dreaming of.

If that’s not a testimony, I don’t know what is. So, join me in thanking God and by reflecting on how you are, too. You may not be battling similar issues as I am, but I trust life gives all of us baggage to deal with. In recent times, I’ve found that being an adult, the awareness of all that needs to be done, all that is wrong, and the fatigue from the never-ending hustle and battling the same-ish for so long makes appreciating little things like the colour of the sky difficult. This is why reflection, like meditation, is a practice I want to do more of: ‘ touch the grass’ and take stock more holistically. But then, I’m an overthinker, so this might be something I’m prone to do- self-interrogation.

Anyway, you’re invited to join me. I have curated a list of questions below for mid-year reflection, which I invite you to answer along with me. I answer the questions in the video embedded below.

• How would you describe/title this season of your life?
• What 3 things are you most grateful for in your life right now, and what three are you currently struggling with?
• What are you proud of yourself for?
• What shame/guilt do you carry?
• How do you think you have grown in the past 5 years, and are there any areas of regress?
• What dreams/desires did your younger version have? What has changed or remained the same?
• List 3 goals you planned/dreamed of/worked for and attained.
• Describe any unexpected blessings that you’ve experienced/things that were attained without you working/dreaming/planning for them.
• What aspects of your life are you most confident about, and where do you need more faith/work?
• What lesson are you learning now, in this year of life?
• As you look back and see changes in how life was a year, 3 or 5 years ago, what would you like to be different in a year, or 3 or 5?

I’ll go first…

Now, don’t be shy; tell me how your responding to the above questions went.